Talking with the guy who hates everything
The guy who hates everything can turn any conversation into a one-sided rant. Were you talking about puppies? The guy hates people who give their dogs people names. Were you talking about Gatorade? The guy hates electrolytes. Sometimes he doesn't even bother with a logical transition and your nice chat about the migratory behavior of birds gets derailed by a diatribe on why no one should ever buy non-organic bananas because people who eat food that isn't organic shouldn't be allowed to be alive. This sends you into a tailspin of anxiety over whether this person can tell that you ate microwave fish sticks for lunch or if you've ever mentioned your weakness for Slim Jims around him.
At first, I LOLed. Then I felt kinda bad. And kinda mad.
My sister, M, is part of our wedding party. She's on my side, obviously, and is 11 months younger than I am. She looks older than me and acts light years younger than her actual age. For instance, she likes to make Everything About Her. No matter what the conversation is about, it has to focus on her in some way, and if it doesn't, she gets pissy. It's been incredibly difficult to talk to her about any wedding stuff, so aside from anything that actively involves her, I just don't talk about anything with her.
One thing that does involve her is her dress, which we obviously have to shop for. Since FH and I were in Florida this past weekend, we decided to reserve a bit of time for bridesmaid dress shopping. My idea is to go with M, pick out a dress (or, at the very least, a color), and have her get a dress of her choice in that color, then giving that same color and length requirement (around knee length) to the other girls. They live in Minnesota and Virginia, and they each have a DB near them, so I thought that'd be the easiest way to do it. The requirements I gave are the only things I care about; I'd rather them each get something that suits them personally and that they'd wear again.
Anyway, so we went to DB that afternoon, after some other appointments, and a saleslady pulled some dresses for M to try. Only one was in the color we're considering (we're between Marine and Blue Velvet, and the one she tried was in Marine), but we wanted an idea of cut and style, too. She ended up looking really nice in all of them, so I know that whatever she chooses would work well.
However, from the drive there all the way to when I finally snapped, she complained. And complained. And COMPLAINED. Saying that she hates wearing dresses, that she doesn't like to shop, that she doesn't want to wear anything too girly, that she'd rather be in a suit (which I almost considered
I eventually reached my breaking point. She had turned down her nose at almost every dress the poor saleslady, who was getting a bit irritated with her comments as well, had chosen for her -- how she managed to get five dresses for her to try, I'll never know -- and was making these really snarky remarks all the way to the dressing rooms. Mom was getting really annoyed, too, and she had just about had it, but she didn't say anything.
So I did.
As we went from the racks to the dressing rooms, I hissed to her, "Cut that out right now." She pointedly looked at me and said, "What?" and I simply responded with a look. "Just try them on and quit talking so negatively."
She actually stopped! And didn't have an attitude! Seriously, just turned around and kept walking, not stalking, to the dressing rooms. Mom glanced over and smiled her approval. She knew it was bothering me and that I was making the best of it, but M really did need to STFU and get over it, and instead, be happy that she's getting a dress to stand with her sister on her wedding day. Not that I'm all Bridezilla and "It's MY DAY" or anything, but I'd think it was an honor to stand with my own sister, and would wear any damn dress she wanted me to wear.
Anyway, so she continued on with the rest of our time there with little complaint. She actually felt comfortable and confident in some of the dresses, which was great; I'll have to post a couple of my favorites. She ended up not buying one as she had her eye on one from their website (a web exclusive, go figure), but her attitude did improve as we went along, and she actually seemed a bit happier about it as we went along.
I mean, I know I can't force her to be happy about it all. That'd just be too much to ask. But I can at least expect a little less bitching, right? Just a little.